Are You Complaining About What You Can't Control Instead of Owning What You Can?

The Challenge

I was on a call a few months ago with a seasoned contractor friend of mine who spent 30 minutes venting about his team. He went on about all these things that may sound familiar…

• This generation doesn't want to work.
• Nobody takes ownership. 
• The younger employees don't have the same work ethic. 
• The project managers won't step up. 
• Supers don’t plan properly
• Clients are too difficult

He had a complaint for everyone and everything, and with each one, I kept waiting for him to take a breath so I could ask him one question. "What are you actually doing about it?"

AND when I did ask him…. Silence.

Complaining about generational differences is the easiest thing in the world to do. It feels productive because you're identifying problems (or at least it feels like). It feels justified because other contractors are saying the same things at every industry event. But while you're busy pointing fingers at how this generation operates differently, you're ignoring the one thing you actually control. How you lead them.

You can't change how someone was raised. You can't rewind the clock and give them the same apprenticeship you had 25 years ago. You can't force them to care about work the way you do. AND you can’t change an entire generation!

BUT you know what you can do? You can get crystal clear on what you expect, assign ownership to the outcomes that matter, and stop assuming people will just figure it out because that's what you did.

The multigenerational shift is real. People view work differently now. They want a different life than you did. You can spend the next fifteen years wishing that it wasn't true, or you can spend the next six months adapting to it. One keeps you stuck. The other moves you forward.

The Impact

This blame game is costing you more than you think. Every hour you spend complaining about your team is an hour you're not spending leading them. You're exhausted because you're working harder than everyone else, but the results keep slipping. Projects bleed profit. Deadlines get missed. Quality issues pile up. And instead of looking at what you control, you keep pointing at what you don't.

Your best people are watching this. They see you blame the generation, the market, the subs, the clients. They see you operate in reactive mode, putting out fires instead of preventing them. And they start wondering if this is the kind of leader they want to follow. So they leave. Not because they don't want to work hard. Because they don't want to work in an environment where the leader doesn't take responsibility for the things within their control.

The culture in your company is eroding because blame becomes the default language. When the owner blames the team, the team blames each other. Project managers blame the field. The field blames the office. Everyone has a reason why it's not their fault, and nobody owns the outcome. That's not a people problem. That's a leadership problem.

Cash flow tightens because project performance is unpredictable. You can't forecast profit when every job is a surprise. And deep down, you know the truth. The problem isn't the people. The problem is you haven't built the clarity that would allow them to succeed.

The Shift

The shift starts with one uncomfortable realization. You are the common denominator in every underperforming project, every frustrated team member, and every missed expectation. That's not an attack. That's the reality of leadership. And once you accept that, you can actually start controlling what matters.

The first action is defining outcomes instead of hoping for them. Before a project starts, sit down with your team and get specific about what success looks like at every phase. Not vague goals. Actual measurable outcomes with deadlines and ownership. "We will have all submittals approved by the 15th of April so long lead items can be ordered without delaying the schedule, and Sarah owns that." When you build this into how you operate, you stop leaving performance up to interpretation. Your team knows exactly what winning looks like, and more importantly, they know when they're losing in time to fix it. 

The second action is assigning ownership before problems show up, not after. You've been in this business long enough to know where the risks are. You know which subs will need managing. You know where labor productivity tends to slip. Stop pretending these are surprises. In your project kickoff, walk through every single risk and assign someone to own it. When you do this upfront, accountability becomes the norm instead of the exception. Your team starts operating proactively, and you stop spending every day reacting to chaos that could have been prevented.

This isn't about working harder. It's about leading smarter. You can't control the generation. You can't control the market. But you can control the clarity you provide, the ownership you assign, and the leadership you show up with every single day.

There's definitely more to it, but these are two solid starting points—and exactly why I built them into my Bid Handoff Accelerator Process.

The Closing

The contractors who grow over the next decade won't be the ones complaining the loudest about how things have changed. They'll be the ones who adapted, who focused on what they could control, and who built the leadership that makes high performance possible regardless of the generation in front of them.

You have a choice right now. You can keep blaming external factors and stay stuck. Or you can look in the mirror, take ownership of what you control, and start leading in a way that actually moves the needle. This shift starts with one project. One conversation where you define outcomes and assign ownership before the work begins. Do that once and watch what happens. Then do it again. The compounding effect of that change will transform how your team operates and how you show up as a leader. I promise it’ll make you sleep better as well! 

You didn't get into this business to spend your days frustrated and exhausted. You got into it to build something. So stop waiting for the world to change and start owning the things only you can control. It’s time to go from Builder to CEO! 

Gerard Aliberti
Pro-Accel, Owner

1. If you're ready to stop reacting and start leading with clarity, executive coaching can help you make that shift. Pro-Accel works with contractors who are tired of the chaos and ready to take ownership of what they can control. Pro-Accel can coach owners and/or leaders. Reach out to me and let's discuss what's truly holding you back.
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